“You are not what you’ve done, what you’ve been, how others have taught you, or what has been done to you. Your past and all its hurts are no longer in this reality, unless you allow them to be here to continue to cause hurts, conflicts, and negative cyclical events. You cannot change your past, but you can change your response to it.”
I partially believe this statement. I personally feel that whatever has happened in your past is part of who you are now. Your mistakes, how people treated you or you treated others, and the things you would have done differently…all have an impact on you. They also influence future decisions. Could I have been stronger in certain situations? Absolutely. That is why the second part of the statement has resonance for me. There is nothing you can do to change the past; it’s how you handle it that counts. Dwelling on the past will do nothing to change it…but if you can find something positive from it, you can evolve and become a better, stronger person.
- Self-Consolation (joberlynmanaois.wordpress.com)
- The Power of Forgiveness… (fairygodmuma.wordpress.com)
“If you spend most of your time focusing on negative things and thinking unhappy thoughts, your brain will release more of the neurotransmitters associated with sadness and less of the ones associated with happiness. Over time, your brain adjusts and not only doesn’t MAKE as many of the ‘happy hormones’ but also loses its ability to RECEIVE the ‘happy hormones’ it does make.
This is the scientific basis for ‘We become what we think about most of the time.’ Why? Because thinking stimulates neurotransmitters which then create new receptors!”
Cover of No Country for Old Men
“I think by the time you’re grown up you’re as happy as you’re goin’ to be. You’ll have good times and bad times, but in the end you’ll be about as happy as you was before. Or as unhappy. I’ve knowed people that just never did get the hang of it.” ~ Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men.
….note the meaning, not the grammar 😉
“Happiness is a BY-PRODUCT of living a life of meaning. When we pursue happiness directly, in terms of trying to buy things, gain love, engage in behaviors that make us happy – we fail. Instead, we must become happy by doing things that have personal meaning for us.”
- In search of happiness (slideshare.net)
- Should We Pursue Happiness? (theunemployedphilosophersblog.wordpress.com)
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg
Ever wonder why you automatically seemed to check Facebook these days without making a conscious decision to do so? Or eat off your child’s food plate despite the fact you’re not hungry? Or ever desire to change a lifestyle: develop an excessive habit or lose the bad habit of being chronically late?
This book addresses all that and more. I bought this originally to help myself understand why someone I am very close to is struggling so much with change– despite their best intentions it just seemed like they couldn’t get out of some patterns and I wanted to explore why that may be.
What ended up happening is I found this amazing book– highly reviewed and just out this year– that has now helped me sort through some of my own routines and gave me a better understanding of myself and my friend.
It takes you through in plain mans English and stories, the neuro-science behind habit formation, how marketing people use it on you, how those techniques can be used at home or in business, and how to empower yourself to mold your habits into what you want them to be.
I highly recommend this in paper form— as it’s the type of thing you may highlight and make notes on that you may go back as reference later… And kindle and book have those features but they are cumbersome.
A must read non-fiction (and I do not say that often)
Enjoy and please comment your feedback post read!
Also available at Barnes & Noble/Nook
I just finished reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life by Donald Miller. In this book he compares the living of a good life to the writing of a story. Our lives are a blank page and we decide in our actions (or lack thereof) the story we will write.
As this idea comes to him and as he forms it more deeply, he puts it into action in his own life. Literally. He gets off the couch, gets in shape, and goes on many adventures, including riding his bicycle across the country with a group to raise money for a good cause. And in doing so finds he gains so much more than he could have imagined.
He talks about the difficulty of life. And how there is value in things not always being easy. It is in those tough struggles that we learn and grow and improve. “The story made us different characters than we would have been if we had skipped the story and showed up at the ending an easier way.”
I love this idea. He writes, “People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.” We are the writers of our own stories. And when the final page is turned, what do we want the story we leave behind to say about us?
Also available at Barnes & Noble/Nook
To hear more thoughts from Lisa, please visit her blog at runcookquilt